Dorkiness 101

Happy Birthday Carter! I love your grey-green eyes and go-get-em attitude. I love to watch you play cars and pretend to be a doggie. I love your jokes and hearing you snore when you sleep.

Gosh, what is it about my babies' birthdays that makes me so nostalgic? As much as I adore seeing them grow and learn, I sure miss them being so tiny. There's nothing quite like cuddling a newborn baby......

Here's the birth story I wrote when Carter was born.

Thursday, June 20, 2002

I have an appointment with my midwife, Julie. I’ve been amazed every day for the last two weeks as I wake up in the morning still as pregnant as I was the night before. I’m shocked to even be going to this appointment. Spencer was born on a Tuesday and Bethany on a Wednesday, so I’ve been saying this whole pregnancy that this new baby’s going to come on a Thursday. With the other two kids, I’ve gone into labor the night before an appointment. I was so sure we’d be making the trek to the hospital in the middle of the night. My SIL took the kids for the night yesterday so I didn’t have to take them to my appointment with me. I was *SO* sure baby would be here by now. I swallow my tears of disappointment and head to Julie’s office.

I actually gained a pound this week after no change for the last three visits. Up to a total of 13 lbs. I can’t believe it. That’s quite the change from the 78 lbs I gained with Spencer. Julie does her internal exam – her eyes are like saucers as she takes her glove off. She says “I’m not comfortable having you leave here dilated to a six, so I’ll just call you a five plus, okay?” Amazing.......I didn’t know you could be that far dilated without actually being in labor. She also tried to strip my membranes, but said, “you can’t strip what isn’t there.”

I stopped to get a Slurpee and then went to Target to fill Spencer’s prescription. As I’m walking through the aisle, a lady says to me “Not much longer, huh?” Oh, if she only knew!

John and I meet at Sam’s Club and walk all over the store filling our cart. Then we meet SIL to get our kids back. Still nothing. We have dinner at Togo’s and head home.


Friday, June 21

John goes off to work and the kids and I just have a lazy “stay in our pj’s all day” kind of day. We finally decide to have dinner at 8:00 – John has the remainder of his Togo’s sandwich from the day before. Spencer and Bethany have oatmeal and Pop-Tarts. I start to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for myself, but it doesn’t sound good, so I have a lemon yogurt instead. I tell John that I’m not having any contractions or anything, but that I’m going to call Julie. I take my yogurt upstairs to eat it and call her. I just want to be left alone. I curl my hair and put some makeup on. Nothing fancy....just wanna look like a normal person. I paged Julie twice and she calls me at 9:30. I told her how I felt and she asked if I want to come in to get checked. I said yes, that we’d be there in 30-45 minutes. I had John call his oldest son and DIL to come watch our kids. We make sure our bags are out in the car. I notice how disgustingly filthy our kitchen floor is as I sweep up some dirty footprints. I take a picture of Spencer and Bethany then start to leave. Bethany cries. She wants her “Mommy-Daddy”. My heart is breaking for her – she has no idea how much her life is about to change. My tiny little girl is going to be a big sister soon.

We got to the hospital at 10:30. They get us all hooked up to the monitors and surprise! we’re having contractions. Most of them are about five minutes apart – there’s a few closer together. I even have five all in a row that are one minute apart. I’m feeling nothing. At 11:30, Julie comes in to check me...no change. By now I’ve decided that I’m starving. We discuss our options.....go home and wait, have Julie break my water, or start a little bit of pitocin. John doesn’t want to go home without our baby. I’m scared...my water’s always broken on its own. I’ve been saying to myself for weeks that when the baby’s ready to come, it’ll come. John and I tell Julie to have a nap. We’re going to go for a walk for a while. We’ll wake her and have her break my water when we get back. Meanwhile, I’m starting to feel sporadic contractions. I feel all tingly from just under my belly button to the tops of my thighs. No pain at all. John and I head to the snack shop. He gets a donut and a mint chocolate chip shake. I get apple juice and a grilled cheese sandwich. When we’re done, we walk out of the east side of the hospital, around the building and west to State Street. It’s a beautiful summer night. Just a few clouds hanging around the moon. There’s a few lighting strikes in the southern sky. We head back to the hospital. John’s ready to go back in and get the show on the road. I’m still scared and praying with every step that my water will break on its own. I convince him to get in the car and go for a little ride. We head south towards the mall. More incredible lightning. I have John pull over at a strip mall and park at one end. We walk down to the other end and back. Several furniture stores – some neat stuff. This whole time I feel a few contractions, but still no pain. We go back to the hospital. I’m getting more nervous the closer we get. In the parking lot, John starts to get out. I stop him and we say a prayer.


Saturday, June 22 1:15 am

Back inside, our nurse shows us back to our room and gets the monitors set up again. She says “twenty minutes, then I’ll wake Julie.” John and I watch tv including an episode of Deep Space Nine that showed a woman giving birth by standing up with her arms extended. I tell John “let’s not have our baby like that, okay?” Nearly an hour later, our nurse finally shows back up and brings Julie with her. I’m now feeling each contraction, but they’re quite mild, nothing that I’d call painful or even uncomfortable. Right at 2:30, Julie breaks my water. There isn’t much. I didn’t feel any come out at all. I wonder if I’d have noticed if my water HAD broken on its own. Still no dilation change. We ask to be switched to room 102 – the room where Bethany was born. This room had a shower, but 102 had a Jacuzzi tub too. As we start walking down the hall to the new room, I’m feeling more of the contractions. I’m having to pay a little bit of attention to them. I even have to stop for one in the hall. Weird.

I want to go into the shower first thing. The nurse wants me to keep the monitors on. Well, I do...for a few minutes. They were driving me nuts, so I finally had John take them off. I’m still scared. I’m scared of each contraction, so I tense up and then they hurt even more which just makes me more scared. I kick John out of the bathroom and shut the shower curtain completely. I start to cry. I feel so alone and scared. I remember Julie peeking in to see if I’m ok.....I tell her I am fine just so she leaves me alone so I can cry.

I finally regain a bit of composure...telling myself that I have to break this pain/fear cycle or I won’t make it. I call John in and tell him that I need him to be there for ME. To listen to me. Contractions are getting closer together and more intense. The shower feels good. I love the hot water on my back. The sound of the rushing water calms me – reminds me of waterfalls and the Caribbean. I tell John to keep talking. Focusing on his voice helps me to ride the waves of contractions. I keep telling myself to ride the waves. It becomes my mantra... ”Ride the waves, ride the waves.” I start filling the tub and about as soon as I get settled, the phlebotomist comes in to draw blood. She waits for the current contraction to end, sticks me, and is done before the next one starts. She did a good job.

The bath doesn’t feel as good as the shower, so I empty the tub and turn the shower back on. I’m amazed at how fast and hard these contractions are coming. I’m having to concentrate on them all and notice that my breathing really changes during each one. Soon they’re coming so hard and so fast that I can hardly catch my breath in between. We call for the nurse. I tell her that I want to talk to Julie. John asks if I’m ready to push. No...I just want to talk to Julie. But he makes me wonder...do I need to push? Still no. I realize I’ve been moaning through a bunch of contractions now. I think I want to get out of the shower but the side looks so high, I wonder how I’m ever going to get out. Julie’s there asking what’s going on. I think everyone can tell by my voice that it’s getting to be time. John asks again if I’m ready to push....no.....OH! YES! Yep, it’s time.....I spend about three more contractions working up the strength to get out of the shower. John tries to put a towel on me and the nurse tries to put a warm blanket around me. I don’t want any of that. I’m wet and naked and it feels good with the cold air blowing on my body. (Any of you that know me know how much I *HATE* having air blow on me at all....let alone cold air!) As I sit on the edge of the bed, I look at the clock 4:30. Wow, later than I thought. Baby wants out...I have a hard time getting situated on the bed. They’re still asking me if I want a blanket or gown or anything. Still no. Julie says I’m complete....I already knew that. Nobody tells me when or how to push – I’m grateful. I just listen to my body. Some contractions I push with, some I just let go by. I’m glad they’ve slowed down enough for me to catch my breath.

In just a push or two, I can see baby’s head. John reminds me that I want to feel baby’s head as it crowns. I’m concentrating so hard on the job at hand that I have to consciously tell my hand to move to feel baby. What an incredible sensation.....to feel a part of you – inside of you yet separate from you. You can touch your leg with your hand and you feel it with your hand and with your leg, but this was just my hand and another entire human being. It’s a powerful sensation.

I’ve heard people talk about the ring of fire....I didn’t really experience that. I just felt like I was ripping in two. But here was a little face. Julie had a hard time suctioning out the nose and mouth so I just finished pushing him out. 4:48 am. My baby was put immediately on my chest and I rubbed him with a towel. I felt something warm trickle down my right breast. He peed on me! And he was for sure a boy! I heard Julie ask John if he wanted to cut the cord. He answered “yes, but let me get the camera too”. I looked up at him and said I wanted to cut it. He said ok.....and I severed the bond that had nourished my baby for those long nine months.

The nurse put the baby in the warmer next to me and John came around to take some pictures. I finally accepted a gown while Julie checked me out. She said I had two skidmarks in front and a small tear and did I want a single stitch for it? I declined. She and the nurse cleaned me up. It felt so good when they poured some cold water on my girlie parts. As the nurse started wrapping up the baby, John asked when they were going to weigh him. I asked for guesses. Julie’s was 8 lbs 3 oz, the nurse said 8 lbs 4 oz, I said 8 lbs 5 oz, and John said 8 lbs 7 oz. Daddy hit it right on the head. 8 pounds 7.4 ounces.

She gave the baby back to me and John and I just marveled at our tiny son. He was so perfect and beautiful. I was so thrilled that he was healthy and breathing well. We all just bonded for quite a while.

Around six am, the nurse came to take the baby for his bath. John asked if I could join them, we got the ok and my nurse came in with a wheelchair to take me down to the nursery. What an awesome experience that was! Seeing my big strong husband tenderly cleaning his newborn son. Several times I shed tears at the wonder unfolding in front of me.

Baby had to stay in the nursery under the warmer for a while to get his body temperature back up, so John wheeled me to my room. I had to pee but knew it would sting. Boy, Julie wasn’t kidding when she told me that. It felt like my bladder had kept a reserve the whole time I was pregnant.....I can’t remember a time I’ve peed so much.

A little while later, they brought the baby back to me. John went home to get Kristen, Spencer and Bethany. They all were so cute with him. My family.

We had several visitors that day. John took the kids out to breakfast and then home so he could have a nap. Our older kids came to visit. I slept for a while then SIL and a niece. My sister sent flowers – white lilies with purple accent flowers.

My mom and her DH brought a cute outfit, blanket and bib all with giraffes. Grandma and Grandpa came and John brought the kids back for another visit. The kids went home with the grandparents so John and I finally had some alone time to discuss names. We finally decided on Neil Carter Callaway. Neil for John’s uncle. We call him Carter. Uncle Neil, my dad and John’s dad all go by their middle names. What a beautiful son we have.

ps. I found out later the next day that the nurse had grabbed a couple of pillows because she and Julie (and John!) thought that I'd be giving birth right there in the shower! I knew at the time that I wasn't going to let that happen (remember the tv show!), but boy it took all the strength I had to get out of the shower and over to the bed.